Finish the tutorial
Find a gramophone and DANCE, DANCE, DANCE!
Complete all the underground bomb-bouncing courses
Kill the Phantom guarding the ancient mines
Find all crow skulls in the ancient mines
Ride the ghost horse all the way to the end
Make some magic mushroom music!
Ruin the Witch and Merchant's cruelty-free dinner
Collect all crow skulls in the swamp
Beat the gate guards to the gate they guard on guard carts
Win the game of Conveniently-Placed Hydraulic-Operated Underground Whack-a-Mole (patent pending)
Send a monster back to the grave
Be the David to Dhor's Goliath (i.e. kill the big guy)
Collect all crow skulls in Skeletown
Go for a nice walk with Abelard the Gargoyle
Clear away all those headstones cluttering up the graveyard
Solve world hunger (by killing Gluttony)
Collect all crow skulls in the graveyard
Reach the end of the vortex like a paper boat down a drain
Get on Santa's Super-Duper-Duper-Naughty List
Collect all crow skulls in the North
Kill the Wizard + Get the Amulet = Profit
Equip the Legendary Holy Glory Shovel
Fill out your wardrobe
Make vinyls cool again. ...Actually, that's impossible, even as a joke. Just find all the gramophone
Collect every single crow skull in the world
Give in to your inner completionist
Pick up a crow skull
Collect all crow skulls in the fields
Buy a new outfit!
Smash all the crates in the fields
Kill the tyrannical Scarecrow and liberate the crows
Pass your abandoned minecart driving test